


No More Lonely Nights

by followthesun78



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1696145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/followthesun78/pseuds/followthesun78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>heartbreak brings John and Paul back together again. (This is an AU story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a warmer than usual night for being December, almost balmy. John was exhausted after a long day in the studio to put the finishing touches on his newest album he was working on. He looked over to the man sitting next to him in the back seat of the car, and gave him a huge smile. The man in return gave him a smile back and then reached for his hand and gave it a small squeeze. John squeezed the hand back and sighed contently. He was feeling the calmest he had felt in years, he was back in the studio for the first time in five years, and was back with the man he had loved since he was seventeen. It had taken nearly ten years for John Lennon and Paul McCartney to get their relationship back to where it had been before all the bad blood came between them back in the late sixties. Sure, they had seen each other multiple times in the seventies, but it had only been since early 1979, that the two of them began to rekindle the passionate love they had for each other. John began to think about the past few years and what led he and Paul back together.

Late 1977

Paul had a beautiful family that was growing. He and his wife Linda were celebrating the birth of their first son, James, who was their little miracle baby since Linda was told she couldn't have anymore children after her cancer treatments two years earlier. But soon after, the family would suffer great heartache, something that was becoming all too familiar in their lives.

John groaned as the phone on his bedside table kept ringing. He turned over, hoping Yoko would answer, but saw that she was not there, she hadn't come home yet that night. He grumbled a few choice words and picked up the receiver. "What!" John spat out. There was silence on the other line, which only fueled John's anger further.

"Who the fuck is this? If you're going to wake me up at 3AM, you better have a good explanation!" John snarled.

"John... it's Paul." he finally heard.

"Shit, Paul, it's 3 fuckin AM in the morning! It's been a really rough day, Sean wore me out and I need me sleep. M'hanging up now."

"NO, please John, don't hang up!" John heard Paul plead. "He sounds like he's been crying" John thought to himself.

"Paul, what is it, what's wrong." John's voice softening just a little.

"I... I just needed to talk to somebody, I had to call ya." Paul's voice quivered, and John knew now, he had for sure been crying.

"Come on Paul, ya woke me up at 3AM, now ya need to tell me what is going on."

"Linda's cancer is back." Paul finally said.

"What?" Was all John could ask.

"Yes, she's got the exact same cancer, more agressive this time." Paul sniffled "Doctor told me yesterday its spread in other parts of her body, told me she has about six more months." John could hear Paul's sniffles turn into quiet sobs.

"OH Paul, I'm so sorry." John answered, not knowing what else to say at the moment.

"She's taking it well, puttin on a brave face, but I know she's scared deep down. Fuck, I'm scared! I'm so scared to lose her, for the kids to lose their mother! We haven't told em yet, we need to tell em at the right time. But I don't want to keep this from em, they have a right to know. Mike and I were kept in the dark during Mum's illness, we never even knew she was sick until it was too late." Paul sobbed.

"Shit Paul." John said

There was an awkward silence for a while until Paul had to get off of the phone since Linda was due home at anytime.

"I have to go now John, Linda will be home soon, she took the girls to school. She's determined to keep things normal for em right now."

"I'm sorry again Paul, so fuckin sorry. You call if you need anything okay Paul?"

"Thanks John. Means a lot to me." Paul said before hanging up the phone.

July, 1978

About a month after Linda's death, John found himself sitting in a car in front of Paul's Cavendish home. He reached out of the open window and punched in the code Ringo had given him, to open the gate.

He pulled into the driveway and walked up to the door and knocked. When no answer came, he continued to ring the doorbell repeatedly knowing Paul was inside, his car was parked in the driveway, looking as if it hadn't been moved in quite sometime. After ringing the doorbell for the tenth time, he heard loud footsteps walking towards the door along with mumbling.

"Jesus Richie, how many times a day do ya need to come check on me. I told ya I'm fine..." Paul stopped short, eyes getting wide when he saw who was really standing outside his door.

"Well, last I checked I'm not Richie, and from where I'm standing, ya really don't look like you're fine Paul." John said back, looking Paul up and down, and seeing how wrinkled his clothes looked, and how his hair was all greasy and he already had a decent amount of beard growth. John remembered the last time he had seen Paul this way, when he had Paul were ending their relationship and the band was breaking up.

Paul, in shock from seeing John standing on his front steps, stood in silence before finally moving to the side to let John in.

"What are ya doing here John?" Paul asked with a slight sneer.

"I"m sorry Paul, I should've come sooner. I know we talked a little after, but I should've come to London sooner." John could see the pain and hurt in Paul's eyes, knew he was still heavily into the grieving period.

Paul sighed. "Would ya like some tea?"

"That would be nice, ta."

As he followed Paul down the long hallway and into the kitchen, he noticed the state the house was in and was surprised to see it that way.

The tea was poured and both men sat in silence, neither knowing what to say at the moment.

John was the first to break the silence. "Where are the kids?" John asked, pretending like he didn't know, that he hadn't been in contact with Ringo and Mike.

"Mike and Angela took em up to Liverpool for a while." Paul took his time answering the question.

John wasn't sure what to make of that when Mike had told him he had taken the kids for a while, since Paul thrived with having his children around him at all times, one of the reasons he and Linda always toured with them. He couldn't stand being away from them for more than a day. He studied Paul, noting the dark circle under his eyes, his thin frame, looking like he hadn't had a decent meal in a while.

"What Lennon?" Paul snapped. "Why are you staring at me like that?" Before John could answer, Paul kept going, "Richie called you didn't he?"

"Richie's concerned about ya Paul, so is Mike and I can see why." John answered back.

Paul slammed his tea cup down so hard, it shattered. He got up and stormed his way upstairs to his room.

John sighed at the outburst. He had been through his fair share of breakdowns of all sorts in his life, and Paul was almost always there to bring him back from them and he was bound and determined to do the same for him now despite the problems the two of them have had in the past eight years. He slowly climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to Paul's room and quietly opened the door.

"Go away, just leave me the fuck alone!" Paul shouted without getting up from his laying down position on the bed, his head was spinning from the alcohol he had consumed in vast quantities the night before.

"Afraid I can't do that Son, m' not going anywhere until we get ya straightened back out." John quipped back.

Paul didn't answer, his body turned from John.

"What are ya doing Paul?"

"Bloody Hell John, not you too, I fuckin lost my wife, the love of my life, forgive me if I'm not Mr. Sunshine and Roses right now okay?"

John cringed when Paul used the words love of his life. He knew Paul loved Linda, but it seemed even after John and Paul had slightly come to terms with what happened between them in the late 60s/early 70s, Paul still harbored some bitterness about it all.

"Paul, I doubt anybody has told ya , ya can't grieve for Linda. We all know ya loved her very much, but I don't think Linda would want this, want ya layin' in bed all day, not eatin, drinkin yourself into oblivion. She would want ya out there remembering the wonderful times ya both shared."

John waited for Paul to say something, but he never spoke, instead continued to lay on his bed, facing the wall. John sighed, and took a different approach.

"What about your kids Paul? Hmm? How long do ya plan to keep em up in Liverpool? I seem to remember your dad did the same thing to you and Mike after your Mum died. Ya always hated that he did that, sent ya away like that, not knowing when he would be back to get ya."

"Fuck you John, get the fuck out of here." Paul snarled.

"Ah, struck a nerve I see." John knew he was about to piss Paul off in a big way, but he was not about to back down now, he needed to reach him and snap him back into reality, for the sake of his children. He knew Mike and Richie would never take it this far, but he had to, it was the only way to end this and he knew Paul would listen to him even if he was pissed at him.

"Have you even been there for em since Linda died? Have you comforted em, gave em hugs and kisses when they get sad over losing their mother? You aren't the only one who lost somebody when she died Paul!"

"I told ya to shut the fuck up Lennon!" Paul yelled as he stumbled out of his bed and was attempting to make his way to the bathroom to get away from John, he didn't want to listen to him right now. John was too quick for him and stopped him before he could make it, grabbing his arm.

"Let go of me ya bastard!" Paul hissed at John, attempting to pull his arm away.

John refused to let go, and finally had backed Paul into a wall, grabbing both of his arms now, pinning him in his place. No matter how much Paul struggled to free himself, he could not get away from John's grasp.

"Fuck, let me go, just get the hell out of here!"

"NO!" You need to stop this shit Paul, and be there for your little ones. Grieving is fine, but Jesus Paul, you're shutting your kids out of your life at a time when they need ya the most! I am not letting ya out of this room until you stop. Think of those four beautiful kids of yours. They love their daddy so much and I know ya love em too.

Paul continued to struggle to free himself from John's grip, but John could see his eyes getting moist with tears, so he kept going.

"I will say it again Paul, grieving is fine, but shutting everybody else out of your life, including your own children is not. Trust me on this, I've been down that road and it only ends up hurtin you and the ones you love even more."

John loosened his grip on one of Paul's arm, and reached up to his face and cupped his chin in his hand. slightly moving Paul's head towards a photograph that hung on the bedroom wall. "Look at the picture Paul, look at your babies. They need ya Paul, and ya need em to get through this!"

Paul tried not to look at the picture, he couldn't face looking at them right now, he was too ashamed.

"Fuck you John..." Paul barely managed to whisper. He could feel the tears streaming down his face.

"Look at em Paul, I know ya love em very much and ya wouldn't hurt em on purpose." John could tell he was finally getting somewhere and slowly released the grip he still had on his arm, and also let go of his face. Paul just stood there for a minute before collapsing to the ground and began sob uncontrollably. John immediately got down on the floor and grabbed Paul and held him close.

"Shh, shh, it's okay Macca, it's okay Luv." John soothed. "I'm sorry, but I had to get to ya, you're hurtin yourself and your kids doing this, I couldn't let it continue." John rocked Paul in his arms as he continued to sob.

"Why did she leave me John? Why does everybody always have to leave me? Mum, Da, you, and now Linda." Paul was choking back more sobs.

John held Paul even closer to him. "I'm so sorry Paul, so sorry. You know your Mum, Da and Linda didn't leave ya on purpose right? They didn't want to leave ya! As for me, I was just a Bastard Paul, pure and simple. I was so wrong to do what I did to ya." John was starting to tear up as well and he continued to hold and soothe Paul.

Paul's sobs finally subsided sometime later, and John moved to help him up off of the floor and walked him into the bathroom, sat him down on the lid of the toilet, and turned on the tap to run a bath for Paul.

"Off with yer cloths Paul." John ordered.

Paul was reluctant, almost shy, not wanting to undress in front of John, which did not go unnoticed by John.

"Paul, come on, its nothing I haven't seen before. You're going to get into this bath whether ya undress or not, ya look, and smell like ya haven't bathed properly in over a week." John said, trying to make light of the fact he was asking his former lover to strip down in front of him.

Paul finally gave in and undressed himself and slipped into the bath John ran for him. John turned to leave the bathroom to give Paul some privacy while he bathed. He walked downstairs and made some tea and heated some soup to bring upstairs, knowing Paul hadn't been eating very well lately. John carried the tray upstairs and set them on the bedside table. Shortly after, Paul walked out of the bathroom, freshly clean and shaved, and sat down on the bed.

"Now eat and drink up Paulie." John once again ordered.

To John's surprise, Paul did as he was told and ate up every last bite and drank all of his tea. John took the tray back downstairs and when he got back to Paul's room, he saw that he had fallen asleep. John pulled the covers up over Paul, turned off the light and as he was about to leave, he heard Paul whimper.

"Please don't go. I don't want to be alone right now." Paul pleaded with John.

"Okay, I'll stay, don't worry, I won't leave." John said has he kicked off his shoes, grabbed a blanket and sat down in a chair, trying to make himself comfortable to settle in for the long night. A few hours later, he awoke to hear Paul sobbing heavily again, so he got up out of his chair, crawled into Paul's bed and held him close until he fell back to sleep.

The next morning John woke and saw that Paul was not in the bed and panicked for a brief second. He quickly got up, calling Paul's name, and upon seeing that he was not in the bathroom opened the door and ran downstairs. He found Paul sitting at his kitchen table talking to his brother Mike on the phone. John got some tea and sat down with him.

"Mikey, please, m' sorry for everything I have put you and the kids through the past few weeks, but I need em back, I need to hold em, tell them I love em, try to make up for what I did to em after Linda died." Paul said in a shaky voice, tears threatening to fall.

"Paul, give yerself some more time, let yerself get completely better before ya bring them home." John said out loud hoping Mike would hear on the other end of the phone as well.

Paul sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, and finally agreed with John and to whatever his brother was saying to him on the phone.

"Okay Mike, bring em home next weekend, I don't think I can wait any longer than that."

Over the next few days, Paul continued to slowly get healthier and was finally eating normally again. John was even able to convince Paul to go on a long walk with him and Martha and the fresh air seemed to do him good. John saw Paul give a true smile for the first time since he had arrived back in London. Being around Paul like this also made John realize how much he had missed being around him all the time, and felt the same strong feelings creeping back to him that had visited him when he saw Paul a few years earlier. John knew it would be foolish to act upon the feelings. He knew Paul was still very vulnerable after losing Linda just a little over a month ago and he did not want to scare him away and lose him forever. He almost ruined things when he and Paul had sex after he has lost his memory, so he tried to hide his feelings away.

Paul's kids came home the next day, and Paul spent that whole day hugging and comforting them as much as he could, making up for what he had done to them after their mother died. John could feel a smile forming as he watched Paul with his younger children, with Heather taking pictures with her mother's camera, a new found hobby that seemed to keep her busy after her mother's death. John was remembering how he had the same smile on his face when he watched him play with Julian all those years ago. He took a deep breath before he had to say the words he had been dreading the past few days.

"Paul" John said has he gently put his hand on his shoulder as he watched his kids playing with Martha in the backyard. "M' sorry, but I have to leave tonight. I need to get back to New York, to Sean."

Paul looked down at the ground, a look of sadness on his face. "I understand John, Sean needs ya." Paul raised his head back up and locked eyes with John before he continued. "Thanks John, for everything. Really means a lot to me that ya came here..." Paul started to choke on his words a little and couldn't finish.

"Hey, ya would've done the same for me Paul, ya HAVE done it for me many times. I promise Paul, I'll keep in touch more, I won't let another two years go by without us seeing each other." Paul smiled at those words as John gave him a quick peck on the cheek and went back into the house to pack his suitcase.

John held true to his word, and called Paul on a regular basis, and soon, they started to see each other more, with Paul making regular trips to New York with Heather, Mary, Stella and James. As the months passed, they started to grow closer and soon found themselves falling in love with each other again, just as they had when they were teenagers. Paul's younger children also loved their Uncle John and always had a wonderful time when he was around. John had found himself becoming attached to them as well, and spoiled them like crazy, and John's young son Sean loved being around them and playing with them. Paul's eldest daughter Heather wasn't as fond of John as her younger siblings were, in fact, she despised him.

August, 1979

Paul and the kids were staying with John and Sean at a house they had rented in the Hamptons. John had taken up sailing that year and was excited to spend the summer near the water where he could show off his skills on his new boat. Everyone was having a great time spending their days on the water, everybody that is, except for Heather. The seventeen year old had become increasingly moody in the year since Linda had died., and was starting to act out. Paul was frustrated and didn't know what else he could do to reach her, get her to talk to him about how she was feeling. The situation took a turn for the worse one evening while on vacation.

"Heather, where've ya been? I've been worried sick, ya should've called me!" Paul had been waiting up until well after midnight wondering where his daughter was and if she was okay.

"No big deal dad, I was just out with some people I met the other day." Heather rolled her eyes while answering.

"No big deal? Heather, its almost 1AM! I've been sittin here worried that something might've happened to ya, wondering where ya were all night. You know I don't mind ya going out with friends, but ya really need to tell me where you are."

"No one asked you to wait up ya know, and besides I can take care of myself. Stop being a control freak dad! She shouted back as she stomped away.

"Heather, get back here now, we need to talk! You never talk to me anymore, you used to tell me everything, why won't ya just tell me what's wrong!"

Heather stopped, turned around and narrowed her eyes at her father. "Fine you want to talk dad? Let's talk. How about we talk about this whole you and John thing." she shouted.

"What do ya mean?" Paul's eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Did you actually love Mum?"

"What? Why would you even ask me that? Course I loved her, very much!"

"So you loved Mum so much that less than a year after she died you decided to not only jump into another relationship, but one with him? Tell me dad, have you always been gay? Was mum just a front for you to keep this all a secret?" Heather sneered.

Paul was in shock, he couldn't believe his daughter was talking to him this way, he felt his anger rising. "Don't ever talk to me like that again! I loved your mum very much, and ya know that! I think it's time for you to get upstairs to bed now, goodnight Heather."

"I'm not going back to England with you, ya know." Heather suddenly said, ignoring that Paul had signaled the end of their conversation. Seeing the confused look on her father's face, she continued.

"I'm staying here in New York. Uncle John said I can stay with him and his family as long as I want. Grandpa said the same thing."

"Why Heather? Why would you do this to me, to your younger sisters and brother?" Paul was hurt that his eldest daughter went behind his back to ask his in laws about staying in New York with them. Hurt that his daughter didn't want to live with him anymore. "Shit, am I that bad of a parent to let this happen, to let things get this far?" he thought to himself.

"They aren't happy about you and John either you know, they told me so. Maybe Mary, Stella and James are happy about this arrangement, but I'm not, and I'm not going to pretend that I want to be part of this happy little family." With that, Heather turned and walked up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

Paul sat down on the couch, hands on his face, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall, but failed.

"Paul?" John said quietly, coming up behind Paul. He had heard the whole exchange between Paul and his daughter.

Paul quickly wiped the tears from his face before getting up off the couch. "Ya heard huh?" Paul asked.

"Yeah baby, I heard. M' sorry." John said as he hugged Paul from behind. Paul pulled away from John's embrace, still reeling over his argument with Heather.

"Where did I go wrong John? How could I let things get this far? Shit John, how could I not see this all coming?"

"You're asking the wrong person Paul, I haven't exactly been the perfect father for most of my life ya know."

"Can't believe she doesn't want to live with me anymore. Can't believe she thinks I didn't ever love Linda. S'not the kind of girl we raised, to think and talk like that." Paul had started crying again.

"She misses her Mum Paul, you remember what its like to lose your Mum as a teenager, so do I. Maybe staying here with Linda's family would be good for her ya know? Till things calm down a bit yeah?"

Paul couldn't believe what he was hearing from John, his anger flaring up again. "Are you sayin I should leave one of my kids behind? Just give up on her cause she's missing her mum and goin through a rough patch? Shit John, maybe that has worked for you in the past, just leavin your kid, but that's not my way of handling things."

"Fuck you Paul!" John growled. "Ya know I lived with that guilt for years after! This situation is different and you know it!" He added before he stormed out of the room.

Paul immediately felt guilty after what he had said to John. Sometimes things just slipped out of his mouth when he was angry and this time he knew he had gone too far. He opened the door to the back deck and just sat and stared at the water for a while thinking. Maybe John was right. Maybe letting Heather stay with Linda's family for a while would be good for her. Hell, he didn't want to leave her and go back to England, be so far away from his child, but he also didn't want her to be so angry and unhappy living with him that he could possibly lose her forever. They both needed to work this out, and maybe this was the best way. After an hour, he made his way up to his and John's bedroom, he needed to apologize for blowing up at John. Paul took off his shoes and got undressed, slipped into bed beside John, spooning up against him with his arms wrapped around him, giving him a kiss on the back of his neck.

"M' sorry baby. I didn't mean it, didn't mean to hurt ya."

John turned to face Paul. "I'm sorry too darlin'. We'll get through this, we will, I promise." John said as he kissed him back.


	2. Chapter 2

Late September, 1980

John had been doing a lot of thinking lately and was finally about to break the news to Yoko that he wanted a divorce. He just couldn't take it anymore, she was never home anyway, didn't pay much attention to Sean, and was still trying to get him to eat that damn macrobiotic diet.

Yoko came home late one evening, very late as usual, to find John sitting on the couch.

"What are you still doing up?" she asked.

John sighed. "Yoko, we need to talk."

"Can it wait John? I'm tired and not really in the mood."

"No, this can't wait, so fuckin sit down and listen to what I've got to say!" John snapped

When Yoko finally sat down, John took a deep breath and started his rehearsed speech.

"This just isn't workin out anymore Yoko. We need to stop pretending everything is okay, cause it's not and I'm tired of it all."

Yoko just sat there, stoned face, not moving or saying a word.

"I want a divorce, like I said, I can't pretend anymore."

"This is about Paul, isn't it. I'm not stupid John, I know you have been seeing him again behind my back." Yoko sneered.

"And I know you have been screwing your latest catch behind my back too Yoko . You're never home anymore, always out with him. Every night Sean asks me where ya are and why ya don't want to be around him anymore, he's hurtin ya know.

Yoko still showed little emotion even after he brought up Sean, so John couldn't help but say what he said next . "At least Paul has been 'ere for me and Sean, been a big support for us both, even after all he's been through, he's still been there for us."

"He'll break your heart again you know, just like he did years ago, and when he does, don't come crawling back to me."

"Just get out of my apartment." John shouted.

"Your apartment? Since when is this your apartment John?"

"Who's fuckin money pays for this place, for all of this shit in it? Just leave Yoko." John said as he went into the bedroom and shut the door.

As soon as John got into his room, he picked up the receiver on his phone and dialed a familiar number. It was the middle of the night in New York, but he knew Paul would be up already in London, helping his kids get ready for school.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end answered.

"Paul! I did it, I finally fuckin did it!"

"Hiya John! What did you finally do?" Paul asked back.

"I told Yoko I wanted a divorce, told her to leave." There was a brief silence after. "Paul? Paul you still there" John asked worriedly.

"Yeah John, I'm here, just that, wow, that is big news, took a minute to soak in! M' proud of ya, John, so fuckin proud of ya baby!" John could hear the joy in Paul's voice.

"This calls for a celebration Johnny! I'm going call Mike and Angela, see if they can watch the kids for a few days. I'm going fly out, and we are going to celebrate your 40th birthday, just you and me my boy! Paul couldn't contain his excitement.

October 9th, 1980

John was pacing his living room, waiting for Paul to arrrive. He was excited to see him again, and this was the first time the two of them would be together since John told Yoko about wanting a divorce. Hearing a knock on the door, John ran over and opened it quickly, revealing a grinning Paul. John grabbed Paul and held him as tight as he could.

"Hi baby, missed ya so much!" John said before planting several kisses on Paul's face.

"Missed ya too." Paul answered as he kissed John back.

"How'd it go?" John asked. Paul had just been to visit with Heather.

"I think it went well, we actually talked for quite a while, longer than we had in a long time. She's doing well, looks really healthy and happy and she was smiling John, smiling at me!"

"That's great darlin'. M' glad to hear that, glad she's doing better." John said, hugging Paul again.

"I'm hoping she'll want to come back to England soon. Said she wants to go to art school, would love her to go to school back home. Not going to push her though, don't want to push her away again, she will come back when she's ready."

"Now, we have a birthday to celebrate, come 'ere baby" Paul said as he grabbed John, and pushed him down on the couch and climbed on top of him, kissing him deeply before climbing back off., causing John to groan.

Paul laughed. "Now now John, I'm starvin, food first, then sex." Paul said, causing John to smack him hard on his ass.

Paul cooked John a huge birthday dinner, and after several glasses of wine each, they made their way to the bedroom, where they made love several times that night. John awoke first the next morning, with Paul in his arms. John sighed contently, and watched his beautiful lover sleep, thinking how for the first time in a very long time, everything was going right in his life. He pulled Paul closer to him, then closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.

December 3rd, 1980

Paul had flown to New York a few days ago to spend some time with John and give him support while working on his new album. Towards the end of the month, John and Sean were due to fly back to England to spend Christmas with the McCartney family. In the New Year, they would be moving back to England for good, having already secured a house in London, and Paul couldn't contain his excitement. At this moment, he was sitting in the back seat of a car, being driven back to John's apartment at the Dakota, holding the hand of the man he loved. Paul leaned his head on John's shoulder, which prompted John to kiss the top of Paul's head.

"Richie's in town, we should get together with him tomorrow." John said to Paul.

"Is he? He didn't tell me he would be in town as well."

"We'll give him a call at his hotel tomorrow, yeah? Right now all I want to do is get home and get ya into bed and shag ya all night." John said with a big grin on his face.

Paul let one of his silly little trademark Paul giggles slip out and burrowed closer into John.

The car finally pulled up to the Dakota building and both John and Paul got out and started walking to the entrance of the building. John was walking just a bit ahead of Paul, as he was anxious to get up to the apartment to say goodnight to Sean. They were silent as they did so, until they heard a voice break the quietness of the night air.

"Mr. McCartney, Mr. Lennon?" the voice said.

John shook his head, thinking it was just another autograph seeker, and he snickered to himself, knowing all to well that Paul would stop and chat with the man. John stopped walking and turned around, his eyes got wide when he saw that the man was holding a gun to Paul.

"Paul!" John heard himself scream, and before he could react further, the man pointed the gun at John and fired, hitting him in the upper chest. John then heard the gun go off three more times.

John felt himself falling to the ground, but was still aware of what was happening around him. He could hear the screams of the other people around as they ducked for cover, he heard somebody shouting for help, and finally, he could see the Dakota security guard running up to subdue the gunman. He turned his head to the right and saw Paul falling to the ground a short distance away  
Paul!" John tried to call out, but it only came out in a whisper. He forced himself up on all fours and started to crawl over to where Paul was, ignoring the pain in his upper chest. He saw two people run over to Paul in an effort to help him, and one running towards himself. He saw one of the men ripping open Paul's jacket and shirt, then apply pressure to his wounds. The doorman for the Dakota, finally able to make his way to John, forced him to stop moving.

"Mr. Lennon, you need to lie down, stop moving! An ambulance has been called." The man said as he forced John to lie down and started to put pressure on his wound.

"Paul, I need to get to Paul." John's voice cracked. He could hear Paul gasping for breath, choking on his own blood, he was scared he was losing him.

"Just lie still, help is on the way." Was the last thing John heard as he lost consciousness.

John woke up several hours later with a throbbing pain in his upper chest. It took him a minute to become aware of his surroundings, and for the horrible event that took place earlier that night to come flooding back to him.

"PAUL!" John shouted, sitting up in his bed quickly, pain radiating through his upper body.

"Mr. Lennon, lie down, you've just come out of surgery not too long ago." A stern voice told him. John looked over towards the door to his room, to see that a nurse had just walked in.

"Paul, where's Paul?"

His question went unanswered as the nurse began to take his blood pressure and check his other vitals and adjust his IV.

"You are doing well, your vitals are all stable. The bullet didn't do much damage, it was able to be removed easily." she told him.

"Please, Paul, where is he? Is he okay?" John pleaded with the nurse.

His question went unanswered again. She just gave him a weak smile and patted his arm. "You just get some rest now okay?" she said as she left the room.

John was scared and confused. Why weren't they telling him anything about Paul? John started to panic after a few minutes, his mind racing to a horrible thought. OH god, they aren't telling me anything because Paul didn't make it! tears started streaming down John's face. "My beautiful Paul, this isn't fair!" John screamed

His heart was racing fast, the beeping of the heart monitor attached to him alerting the hospital staff. A doctor and a nurse came rushing into the room.

"Mr. Lennon, please calm down!" the doctor told him.

"No, no, no, Paul, no!" John cried, getting more agitated as the seconds passed.

Seeing that John was not going to calm down on his own, the nurse injected a sedative into his IV line and a few minutes later, John's breathing slowed down and he felt himself becoming very sleepy. He muttered Paul's name one final time before sleep over took him.


	3. Chapter 3

John didn't know how long he had slept, but the next thing he knew he awoke and felt a hand on his hand.

“It’s okay John it’s just me.” John heard a familiar voice say.

John slowly opened his eyes to see Ringo at his bedside, with Barbara standing right behind him. “Richie." John said in a sleepy voice. “How did ya know to come here?”

“The shooting is already all over the TV and radio. One of the managers of the hotel we're staying at heard the news and came up to tell us. We hurried over here as soon as we could.” Ringo answered.

“They won’t tell me anything about Paul. He's...he's gone isn't he?" John's lip was starting to quiver, he tried hard to fight back the tears again.

Barbara raced to John's other side and started stroking his forehead as she tried to help Ringo comfort him.

Ringo gripped John's hand tighter. "No, John, Paul's not gone, he's still with us." Ringo said in a soothing voice.

John let out a sigh of relief, but saw there was a lot of hurt and concern in Ringo's eyes. There was more to the story.

Ringo hesitated for a bit, but knew he had to tell John the truth.

"Paul's doctor talked to us after he came out of surgery. Said they normally don't share information about patients with non family members, but he said he'd make an exception this time, especially since most of his family is overseas right now. He's in critical condition, up in the ICU. The doctor said one of the bullets hit near his right lung, causing it to collapse and did some damage around it. Another one got him in his stomach, causing some major internal injuries around his liver, lacerated it he said. The third bullet hit him in his left shoulder, caused a lot of nerve and tissue damage. He lost a lot of blood and they had to give him five units of blood during the surgery. They have him heavily sedated, to keep him out so he can start to heal."

John could feel more tears slipping down his cheeks, he was trying to be strong, but he was so scared for Paul. His Paul was all alone right now, in the intensive care unit.

"I need to go see him, he needs me there." John said as he tried to sit up, hissing in pain as he did.

"We'll get you to him as soon as we can okay John?" Barbara said, stroking John's head again. "Your doctor said if you stay stable for the next day, they will let you go up to see him. Get some rest so you will be able to do that okay?"

“I already called Mike, Cyn and Jules. Mike's in shock of course, He's booking a flight for he and the kids right now. He told me to tell Paul to hang in there and that he loves him very much .” Cyn and Jules send their love too.” Jules said he'll fly out in a second, told ya just to say the word, and he will come." Ringo added. Been tryin to get a hold of Linda's family, to let Heather know what's happened, but can't find a number for em, an officer told me they will send somebody out there to let em know.

John was silent for a few minutes, soaking in all he had been told then suddenly blurted out. “I can’t lose 'im Richie, I just can’t! I don’t know what I will do if he doesn’t make it. We have both been through hell to find our way back together again and some sick person with a gun comes along and tries to take it all away! "And what about his kids? They need their da, they already lost their mum, they can't lose him too!"

“Hey, come on now John, ya need to stay calm so they will let ya go see him okay? Ringo said trying to calm John down a little.

John was getting tired, his energy draining fast, some of the sedative he was given earlier lingering in his system. He soon fell asleep, still holding onto Ringo's hand.

The next morning, a nurse came into the room with a wheelchair. "Your doctor has given the okay for you to go up and see Mr. McCartney now, but the visit will have to be brief, you still need a lot of rest."

John nodded. He was finally going to be able to see Paul, touch him, see that he was still really with them. Ringo and the nurse helped John sit up and to swing his legs over the side of the bed, and helped him put on a dressing gown to go over his hospital gown. John hissed at the pain in his chest as Ringo helped him off the bed and into the wheelchair, and they were both soon on their way up to Paul's room.

"The nurse told Barbara and I to talk to Paul while were in there with him. Said sometimes patients can hear what is going on around em, even when they're heavily sedated." Ringo said as they got closer to the door to Paul's room.

John was in shock at the sight of Paul before him. Paul was still very pale from the blood loss and he was hooked up to several monitors to keep track of his vital signs. He had a tube coming out of his chest, an IV attached to his right hand, and also a tube that led down his throat to help assist his body with the breathing he was unable to do on his own. Around his left arm and shoulder there was a heavy bandage, and two, large bandages covered his chest and his lower abdomen.

Ringo wheeled John up to Paul’s bedside and he took Paul’s right hand in his carefully, and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead, and then gently stroked his hair.

“Hey darlin', I'm here now. Ya keep fighting okay? I love ya so much baby.” John could feel tears welling up as he said these words to Paul. "Mike and your little ones are on their way here as well. Richie called em earlier"

Ringo gave John’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I'm going to give ya some privacy. I'll be back in a bit to take ya back down to your room."

John looked up at Ringo, then nodded as he continued his watch over Paul. He was now alone in the room and feeling very scared. He gently stroked his hair again and started to quietly sing the lyrics of the song he wrote for Paul just a few short weeks earlier. “Grow old with me. The best is yet to be. When our time has come, we will be as one. God bless our love. God bless our love.” John couldn’t finish the rest of the song, as tears had once again come to his eyes. He rested his head on Paul’s hospital bed and let himself cry until there were no more tears left in him to fall.

When Ringo came back to the room thirty minutes later, John was humming to Paul and holding his hand tight. "Hey, John, sorry mate, but its time to take ya back to your room."

"I can't leave him Richie, he needs me. I can't leave him all alone."

"I know John. I know this is hard for ya, but remember, you're still recovering from surgery yourself, ya need rest. Barbara is going to come and sit with Paul so he's not alone okay?" Ringo answered, then took hold of the wheelchair to bring John back up to his room.

Later that day, the door to John's hospital room opened, and Sean came running in.

"Daddy!" the small boy yelled as he gently climbed up on John's bed.

"Hi darlin" John said as he hugged the boy the best he could.

"You've been gone a long time, I was wondering where you were daddy."

John sighed, not knowing how he should tell Sean about what happened. He looked over to Ringo for support who gave him a look as if to say " you need to tell him something". 

John held Sean close to him. "Uncle Paul and I were in an accident. We both have to stay here in the hospital for a bit."

John could not bring himself to tell his five year old son that some mad man with a gun had shot he and Paul in cold blood, he was too young to hear about such violence.

"Where's Uncle Paul? Why isn't he in the bed next to you?" Sean asked innocently.

"Uncle Paul is still very ill and has to stay up on another floor until he gets a little better." John answered his young son.

"Can I go see him? I wanna cheer him up!"

"I'm sorry darlin, but only grownups can be in his room right now okay? For now you're going to be staying in a hotel with your nanny, and Uncle Paul's brother Mike is coming and he is bringing Mary, Stella and James, they will be staying at the hotel as well." Sean smiled and got all excited about seeing them again.

"Your nanny is going to take ya back to the hotel now. She'll stay with ya and Aunt Barbara will be back to the hotel soon as well. I will come join ya there as soon as I can okay?" John gave Sean another hug before he left.

Not too long after Sean and his nanny left the room, there was a quiet knock on John's door before it opened to reveal Heather. John could tell she has been crying as soon as he laid eyes on her and knew she had already been to see her father.

"Hi John." Heather said quietly. "Uncle John brought me here. I... I just saw dad. He's in pretty bad shape isn't he? she asked as she wiped tears from her eyes.

John took a deep breath before answering Heather. "Yeah, he is. But he's made it this far, shows he's fighting. Your da has always been a stubborn one, he won't give up without a fight okay?" John said, trying to be brave for Paul's daughter, though deep down he was just as worried and scared as she was.

Heather nodded and there was an akward silence before she spoke up again. "I'm sorry John" she said in almost a whisper.

John looked up at Heather with a confused look on his face. "What are you sorry about Heather?"

Heather looked down at her feet before she continued. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you and dad last summer when we were on vacation. I was hurt, still hurt over losing mum, and I felt like dad was just forgetting all about her. I said horrible things to him that night, and if he dies, I will always have to live with that guilt! she sobbed.

"Hey, come on now Heather, don't do this to yerself. You and your da have been workin things out the past few months, and he loves ya very much. And he loved your mum very much, I saw that love first hand. And I also love your da, have since we were kids, and he loves me, but that doesn't mean he never loved your mum too."

Heather nodded. "I know he loved mum, I was angry and was just trying to hurt him, and you. and that's why I'm sorry." Heather went up and gave John a quick hug. "I have to go, Uncle John is waiting. I'll come back to visit with dad again soon."

"Thanks for coming Heather, I'm sure your visit did some good for your da." John said as she walked out the door.

"Richie, take me down to see Paul again, I need to be with him." John said after Heather left to go back home. Ringo had been in John's room during the whole exchange between John and Heather, and couldn't helped but to be moved by it all.

Ringo nodded, and once again helped John into the wheelchair. Before they reached Paul's room, they were stopped by a nurse, with a sad look on her face. John could tell as soon as he saw her face, that something was wrong with Paul.

"I'm sorry, but Paul isn't in his room, they just wheeled him down to surgery." The nurse said in a nervous voice.

"Surgery? Why?" John began to panic again.

"He has some internal bleeding again, they have to go back in and stop it. As soon as he's out, we will come down to your room and give you an update on his condition." The nurse said, then walked away.

Ringo took John back to his room, where they both sat in silence, thinking about Paul.

“I wrote a song for him the week before he came into town, surprised him with it.” John suddenly said as he wiped tears from his eyes. “Grow Old With Me, sang it to him the day after he came in, I recorded it a few days ago. Guess I am getting sappy in me old age.” John tried to fake a bit of laughter with those words.

“I’m sure he loved it John.” Ringo said in a soothing voice, trying to keep John calm.

Time passed, and there had been no word about Paul. Barbara had come back to the hospital and joined John and Ringo in their wait. She held John's hand the whole time. John was getting more impatient as time went by and nothing Ringo or Barbara said or did, made any difference. Finally after two hours, a nurse came into the room, telling them that Paul was out of surgery, and that they were able to stop the bleeding. But because of the late hour, and because Paul was still in post op. recovery, he was not allowed visitors.

John was finally able to fall asleep that night, with the help of a sleeping pill and the next morning, he had been back with Paul for about an hour when Mike arrived after dropping the kids and his wife off at the hotel Ringo had booked them all at. John was heartbroken when he saw the look on Mike's face when he saw his older brother lying there in the condition he was in.

"This is harder than I thought it would be. So hard to see him like this, so vulnerable, relying on machines to keep him alive." Mike's voice was breaking.

"I know, I know." whispered John.

Mike walked up to Paul's bedside and stood in silence for a while. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and slowly unfolded it.

"Hey Paul, got something here for ya." Mike said as he lay the piece of paper next to Paul on the bed. "The kids drew this picture for ya on the plane, they all added to it and signed it, well Mary helped James sign it. They told me to tell ya they love ya very much and that they can't wait to see ya." He gently squeezed Paul's hand before he turned towards John.

Mike helped John out of the chair he was sitting in and they walked out of the room to talk, not wanting to do it in front of Paul in case he could hear them.

"How are the kids taking this?"

"James doesn't really understand much of what is going on, he only knows that daddy is sick and in the hospital. "Mary and Stella understand a lot more, especially Mary. She's old enough to understand somethin' bad is going on. I can see it in her eyes, she's very scared and worried about her dad, she can see the worry in me, even though I am tryin to be strong around em."

"How're you doing? Good to see you're up and around." Mike asked John in return.

"I'm doin better, chest still hurts a bit sometimes. They said I will probably be discharged from the hospital in a few days, though I'm not going anywhere until Paul is better" John said. "I'm just so scared Mike, I love your brother so much, I can't stand thinking about losin him, and his kids losin their da."

"I know ya do John, Paul loves ya so much and I'm glad you're getting better yourself and can be here for him. He's been the happiest he has been since he lost Linda, he adores ya and his eyes sparkle whenever he talks about ya." Mike told John as he pulled him into a hug before heading back into Paul's room.


	4. Chapter 4

Three more days had passed and Paul's condition was very slowly starting to improve somewhat. He had no more internal bleeding or signs of infection though his blood pressure was still not stable and his right lung had not healed as much as his doctors had hoped up to this point. The doctors had upgraded his condition from critical to serious, but warned that Paul still had a long way to go to recover and they were not sure if he would regain full use of his left arm. John had been released from the hospital, though he rarely left, spending most of his time at Paul's bedside. The police also came to the hospital again to give them an update on the case. They said the gunman had targeted Paul and John for no other reason, than to become famous himself.

The sixth day after the shooting, the doctors had taken Paul off the respirator, but kept him on an oxygen mask as he was still unable to breathe on his own, and started to bring him out of his drugged induced coma.

John was asleep with his head on Paul's bed, and awoke when he heard a moan. John opened his eyes when he heard the noise again, and saw Paul move his head a little.

"Paul, Paul baby, can ya hear me?" John asked. "Come on Paul, open your eyes for me" Paul's eyes fluttered a bit, but it seemed as if he just didnt't have the strength to open them yet. John sighed, he wanted nothing more than to have Paul open his eyes, but remembered that the doctors said that it could take a bit for Paul to fully wake up.

The next morning, Paul finally opened his eyes for a little while. He knew he was in bad shape when he could feel the searing pain in his chest and stomach and heard the beeping of the monitors attached to him. He slowly turned his head and saw John sitting at his bedside.

"Paul!" John gasped. "Hi darlin, so good to see you awake." John leaned over and kissed Paul on his forehead and grasped his hand, which Paul very lightly grasped back.

Paul just stared at John for a while, looking lost and confused and John was worried that maybe Paul had suffered some memory loss, but he quickly ruled that out. Paul wouldn't have grasped my hand back if he didn't know who I was and what was going on right? He just sat for a while and held Paul's hand, until Paul pulled his hand away to try and lift the oxygen mask off. He struggled with the task, so John helped him remove it.

"Johnny... you're okay." Paul's speech was a bit slow and slurred, and a pained look was coming to his face.

John grabbed Paul's hand and kissed it. "Yeah, I'm fine baby, now don't try to talk too much." Then he added, "Me, Richie, Barbara, Heather and Mike, we've all been here with you, hoping and praying you would pull through. Your little ones are here in town as well, look, they drew you this picture on the way here, Mike brought it in for you.," He took the picture off the bedside table and showed it to Paul.

Paul looked at the picture his kids drew of him and themselves and felt tears coming to his eyes. It made him angry that he was almost taken away from them and didn't understand why it had happened.

"Why" Paul asked John, the tears continuing to flow from his eyes.

"Why what darlin?"

"Why did this happen to us?"

"Don't think about that right now Paul, all that matters now is you continue to get better." John said as he kissed his cheek.

Paul was getting agitated. The pain was getting unbearable and he was starting to have trouble breathing, his chest heaving badly, with the struggling. John quickly placed the mask back on Paul's face and ran to get a nurse. The nurse ran into the room with John quickly behind her.

"Mr. McCartney, calm down, you need to calm down. Take deep breaths."

Paul finally started to calm down and his breathing settled a bit. John was holding his hand and whispering to him that he was going to be okay. The nurse injected some pain medication into Paul's IV and it slowly started to work.

"I'm so tired." Paul's voice was barely audible with the oxygen mask.

"Then close your eyes, get some rest, I'm here." John answered back as he stroked Paul's hair until he fell asleep.

The next day, when Paul was still asleep, John found himself getting hungry, so he quickly ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a bite, while Mike was in the room, wanting to get back to Paul's bedside before he woke up. As he got off the elevator and turned to walk down the hallway to the ICU unit after eating, he spotted a familiar person sitting in the small waiting area.

"Shit, what is he doing here?" John mumbled to himself as he kept walking towards Paul's room.

George got up out of his seat and ran after John. "John, wait please! Will you just stop?"

John stopped and turned around quickly. "Why are ya here George?" John snapped with venom in his voice.

"Richie called me after the shooting, but I wasn't able to fly in til now." George said in a quiet voice, not able to look John in the eye.

"Course Richie called ya, remind me to thank him." John snarled. "So now you decide to come and see Paul? After he's been tryin to make things right with ya for years and you just kept telling him you were too busy to meet up or making up some other excuse! Hell, did you even talk to him after Linda died?"

"That's not fair John!" George snapped back.

"Not fair? You know what's not fair? Paul lyin in that room over there fighting for his life, struggling to take breaths, hell, to even stay awake!" John yelled, making others near them take notice of the two former Beatles in their heated argument.

"Hey, John, George, knock it off will ya? Just stop this! You think this is doing any good for Paul, you two fighting?" Ringo had just arrived back at the hospital to find his two friends fighting. "We need to be there for him, not goin at each other's throats!"

"M' goin back to sit with Paul." John said as he turned and stormed down the hallway to Paul's room.

"Guess I made a mistake by coming, maybe I should just go before things get worse." George said to Ringo.

"George, give him some time okay? I'll talk to him later, once he's calmed down. He's been through a lot too this past week recovering from surgery and his wound himself. He hasn't hardly left Paul's side, isn't sleeping much either. It'll be okay, he'll come around." Ringo assured George.

A while later Ringo went in to visit with Paul after George left to go back to his hotel for a while. Paul woke up again, but like before, it was only for a few minutes. Ringo asked John to step out of the room so he could talk things over with him. John was reluctant, but finally agreed.

John spoke before Ringo could even get a word out. "Why'd ya tell George to come, Richie?" John was still bitter from the argument earlier.

"I didn't tell him to come John, George came on his own. I called him the night it happened, I didn't want him wakin up in the morning in England to the news. He came here because he's worried about the both of ya. Like I said before, this isn't a time for all of us to be fightin, let's just put the past behind us and concentrate on helping Paul get better." Ringo answered back. "I know ya can do this, John, just talk to George. It's been ten years, time for all of us to move away from the shit that happened before. Do this for Paul"

John was silent for a few minutes before answering Ringo. "Fine, we'll see what happens."

George came back to the hospital the following day to talk to John and to visit with Paul.

"I was scared ya know, when Richie called me and told me what happened, so scared to lose the both of ya. Despite all the problems we've all had the past ten years, I just couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have either of you with us anymore." George said to John.

"I always knew the two of you would find your way back to each other again someday, you've always been meant for each other, could see it even way back when we were kids." he added "Glad to see the two of ya worked out your differences so that could happen."

John looked up at George and could see the concern in his eyes. " I am partly to blame for all the shit that happened ya know. I practically forced him into the lawsuit, I treated him like shit and pushed him away, telling him I wanted a divorce from it all. He did the only thing he thought he could do to do just that. He was hurt, felt betrayed and he reacted. Sometimes I'm amazed he can still love me the way he does, after how I acted all those years ago, but so grateful he does."

"Let's start all over yeah?" George asked John.

John nodded. "Come in and see Paul, not sure if he will be awake, but at least ya can see him."

They reached the room and John opened the door quietly seeing that Mike was sitting there with Paul. Mike got up and walked over to the two men and shook George's hand, thanking him for coming to New York.

"He's still going in and out. Go sit with him though." Mike told George. George walked over to Paul's bed and sat down, taking Paul's hand into his.

Paul felt somebody take his hand, and he slowly fluttered his eyes open, thinking it was John. Instead he awoke to see George sitting at his side, and struggled to once again remove the oxygen mask, but was able to do it on his own.

"Geo?" Paul saw George sitting there at his side, but didn't really believe he was there.

"Hey Paul." George said quietly as he gently squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry for what happened to you and John, but glad to see you are doing a little better now."

The room was quiet until Paul, who was still struggling a little with his speech, spoke up. "'M sorry, sorry for everything I did, please forgive me."

"I already have Paul, can you forgive me as well?" George asked back as he stroked Paul's hand. "I'm also sorry it took something like this to happen for me to come and see you and for all of us to talk." he added.

Paul nodded and gave George's hand a small squeeze back as Ringo walked into the room. It was the first time all four of them had been in the same room together in almost ten years. They spent time talking remembering old times until Paul had fallen asleep again. A nurse walked in to check Paul's vitals, and quickly announced that there were too many people in the room, and forced Ringo and George to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few days, John had been getting a long just fine with George. He thought a lot about what Ringo had told him earlier, and knew that fighting with George would not do anything to help Paul. Paul's condition also continued to improve in little steps. His chest tube had been removed and his breathing and speech were getting better, though he still got tired very easily and spent a lot of time sleeping. His doctors had also been in to talk to him about his condition and the procedures that were done to him that night he was brought to the hospital. John's heart sank when he saw the look on Paul's face when one of the doctors told Paul about the nerve damage in his upper left arm. He was told that as soon as he was stronger, they would begin physical therapy, but there was no guarantee of full use coming back to the arm. Paul was very quiet for quite sometime after the news, and John, sensing that Paul did not want to talk, just quietly comforted him as best he could.

Later that afternoon, George walked in to see Paul one more time before heading back home to England. George sat down at his bedside and told Paul that he had to go back home and would come to visit him at his home in London as soon as he was well enough to make the trip back home. George noticed that Paul had a pained look on his face and a few tears coming to his eyes and was wondering if he was still upset about the news he received earlier.

"What is it Paul, are you in pain? Do ya need me to get the nurse?" George asked when the look hadn't gone away.

Paul shook his head no and took a deep breath so he could speak again. "I, I.." Paul didn't quite know how to continue with what he wanted to say, he hadn't really spoken to George in years, but was now about to tell him something he hadn't even told John since he had awaken.

"Paul, what is it?" George asked again.

"Linda. I saw Linda, she came to see me. She looked beautiful Geo. I don't know if I was imagining it, or if she was really there."

"I'm sure she was really there with ya Paul. Sometimes those we have lost come back to us in times when we really need them. Your mother came to ya once if I remember, back in the 60s right?"

"Yeah... but I was dreamin then Geo, not fighting for my life."

"You don't always have to be close to death to see loved ones Paul. Did she say anything to ya?"

Paul took a deep breath. "She told me to keep fighting, that I needed to be there for our kids, Sean and John." Paul took another deep breath. "She also told me that John and I belong together, and that she is very happy to see me and the kids so happy." Paul was choking up, his breathing becoming labored again.

"You and John do belong together, but remember Paul, that doesn't mean the life you had with Linda will ever mean anything less to you. Ya loved her and she loved you, just remember that." George gave his hand a slight squeeze and used his other hand to wipe a tear from Paul's cheek before he got up to leave.

Another week and a half had passed and Christmas was just a few days away. Although Paul was still getting stronger everyday, John found him becoming more depressed and withdrawn. He was still in the intensive care unit and was not allowed to see his children and was asking everyday if the hospital would make an exception. John kept telling the doctors and nurses that a visit from his kids was very much needed, that it would help in his healing, but they still would not bend the rules. Ringo and Barbara had left New York to go be with their family for the holidays, but promised they would return to visit soon after. On Christmas Eve, Paul was able to move to a private room outside of the intensive care unit and John settled in to spend the night with him.

"We were supposed to be together in England by this time." Paul said in a sad voice. "I just want to go home, I don't want to be here anymore."

"I know darlin, I will take you and the kids home as soon as you are well enough to travel, I promise. But just wait, tomorrow is Christmas and I have a big surprise for ya." John said with a smirk.

"What surprise?" Paul asked raising an eyebrow.

"You'll just have to wait and see. Now, close those beautiful eyes and get some sleep, you need to be well rested."

 

Christmas morning, John told Paul he had to leave for a short while, but promised to be back quickly. When he returned, he came into the room with a huge bag full of presents.

"Ho ho ho! Santa has arrived!" He loudly announced, making Paul chuckle a little. John put the bag of gifts down and bent down to give Paul a quick kiss. "But, before we get to these presents, I have another one, or should I say four of them." John walked over to the door and when it was opened, Paul let out a huge gasp. Behind his brother Mike and Mike's wife Angela, Paul could see his kids and John's son Sean.

John loved seeing the look on Paul's face as the kids ran over to him. He held out his non injured arm and the kids climbed up on his bed and gave him the biggest hugs they could. It hurt a lot, but he didn't care, he had his kids back in his arms again, and that was what mattered to him at the moment.

"Daddy, I was so scared. Uncle Mike and Uncle Johnny said we couldn't come see you until you got better. Are you better? Can we go back to England now?" Mary asked her father while her younger siblings were preoccupied with something else.

"I'm feeling much better now that I have you all here, but I still have to do a little more healing before we can all go home." Paul said as he wiped a tear from one of her big blue eyes. He was trying to put on a brave face for his little ones, he didn't want them to see that he was still in pain and still scared about what had happened.

The next hour was spent watching Mary, Stella, James and Sean open up their Christmas gifts, which delighted Paul to no end, seeing the joy on all of their faces. Heather had arrived as well, and was also enjoying herself and having fun with her little sisters and brother. After all the gifts were opened, John quietly asked Mike, Angela and Heather to take the kids down to the cafeteria to get a snack, he needed to talk to Paul in private. Mike nodded and gave Paul a smirk as he ushered the kids out of the room.

"What's all this about then?" Paul asked in confusion when the kids were ushered out of the room.

"It's your turn to get your present, well it's not really a present, but anway, I, I.... needed some privacy to do it." John stammered nervously, causing Paul to raise an eyebrow.

John took a deep breath before continuing, and sat down on Paul's bed. "Paul, ya know I love you very much, and the past year we have been back together has been wonderful. But I've never been so scared in my life then I was a few weeks ago, when that man shot the both of us. When I woke up, I thought I had lost ya, and it almost broke me, and I've been thinking a lot about our future ever since. I want us to always be together, I want us to live together, not just in the same town, I want us in the same house. I want us to always sleep together, go on vacation together and raise our kids together. Hell, I even want us to have more kids together! And I don't give a fuck about what other people think, they can sod off for all I care if they have a problem with it." John sighed, he had finally gotten out what he had been wanting to say to Paul ever since he woke up.

Paul was looking into John's eyes for his entire speech, he could see the emotion and love in them and it moved him very much.

"I.. I want all that too John." Paul said as he gently stroked John's cheek.

"We may not be allowed to get married, but doesn't mean we can't be in our own right and pretend, eh?" John said as he leaned forward to capture Paul's mouth in a kiss. Paul put his hand on the back of John's neck to pull him in closer to deepen the kiss. It was the first time they had kissed like this since Paul woke up. Paul soon pulled away from John, giggling.

"What's so funny?" John asked a bit confused.

"Well, they are still monitoring my heart, we should be careful, they may run in here thinking I'm going into distress." Paul answered with a big smile on his face.

John laughed and placed his forehead on Paul's for a second before giving him one more kiss. He was glad to see Paul's humor slowly starting to return and he loved seeing the younger man smiling like that again. He could tell Paul was getting tired after all of the exciting events of the day, so he gently helped him lay back down against his pillows and just a few minutes later, Mike and Angela returned with the kids and grinned at his older brother.

"You knew he was up to all of this didn't ya?" Paul asked his brother. Mike just shrugged his shoulders and answered with a simple "Maybe."

"Mary, Stella and James, how would you like it if Uncle John and Sean came to live with us in our house in London?" Paul addressed his children. The kids all nodded their heads yes, with big smiles on their faces.

"Can we go back tomorrow?" Stella asked in an excited voice.

"Daddy said he has to get a little better before we can go back home Stella." Mary answered back in her best grown up voice.

"Mary's right hon." Paul said after seeing the look in Stella's face. "I have to stay here in the hospital for a bit longer, then when I'm better, we can all go back home."

"I'm going to go back as well" Paul and John heard Heather say.

Paul's eyes widened. "Heather, you really mean that? You're really going to come home with us?"

"Yeah, figured it was about time I did, I'm ready. I want to go to school in London, been looking into a few there."

Paul gave his eldest daughter a big hug. "M' proud of you and glad you're coming back home!"

Just then a nurse came into Paul's room and announced that the patient needed his rest and that it was time for his visitors to leave. Paul's kids and Sean were sad that they had to leave, but were promised that they could come back again in a few days, and Paul gave them all hugs and kisses goodbye. John looked over at Paul after saying goodbye to Mike,Angela, Heather and the kids, and he already had his eyes shut, but had a slight smile on his face. He walked over to Paul's bed and leaned in and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Paul opened his eyes for a second and smiled again, before shutting them again and falling into a deep sleep.


End file.
